Fred Brown, in an attempt to improvise a pilaf at 3 in the morning, complely fucked up my kitchen. I have never seen such a mess. It was as though a family of raccoons had been trapped in there. Don't let this happen to you. If you're ever starving at 3 in the morning, remember: Krystal burger, the Clock, Denny's or even a gas station egg salad sandwich are all options.