What is there to say about The Nutty Proffessor that hasn't already been loudly and drunkenly slurred? You tell me if this sounds like a good idea: Unevenly medicated vietnam vet named Larry gets a government check. Rents an abandoned downtown storefront. Sets up a "bar" comprised of two sawhorses and a piece of plywood. Buys a keg of Natural Lite or whatever might be cheaper. "Hires" retard-disease vector named LuLu as a bartender. Allows shabby loser guy named Lonnie from the VA to "work" the door. Because no other venues are available and because they suck, local band is enticed to play for free beer. "Owner," "bartender" and "security" quickly drink the whole keg by themselves. The crowd of 7 people is comprised of: 1.) Larry 2.)LuLu 3.)Lonnie 4.)The bass player's girlfriend 5.)A guy who needs a ride to Lake City 6.)A guy who wants a dollar but will settle for whatever you have. 7.)The guy that you once saw taking a dump in front of the post office. Those people who, seeking authenticity or some such bullshit, like to go slumming in dive bars don't have a clue. A true dive bar is owned by the guy who used to sleep on the sidewalk in front of the place. In a real dive bar the bartender is pregnant (again) and squirts boob-juice on the guy who needs a ride to Ocala. And the doorman has vomit in his beard. Unlike the trendy "dive bars", there are no shiny jeeps in the parking lot of the Nutty Proffessor. Instead of guys with their hats on backwards, there are guys with their pants on backwards, if at all. As a haven for the demented, defective and disgusting, The Nutty Professor will forever reign supreme.

I too loved that place. Remember when LuLu took off her shirt? Me neither.

i never thought patrick hughes was half as good a writer as he thinks he is, and this proves it.