God, what a night. Two Fender Twin amplifiers, turned all the way up. One Peavey Mark IV bass amp, ditto. Two cases of warm Old Milwaukee. One unsuspecting apartment complex. "You guys shut the hell up!!!!!"

Big guy's gone crazy!

PEAVEY!! All the hottest musicians play through Peavey amps! That means that Brian McCabe is a HOT musician! And Doglist Jordan on STRATOCASTER! How cool is that? Please, for everyone's sake, stop playing music through amplifiers. If people can't hear you they won't throw shit at you.

Hey Thisbandis Shit - You must be the poor asshole who kept yelling shut up so you could maturbate in peace. We shoulda killed you then. Go back to fantasizing about your mom naked, bitch.

The Fucks will not tolerate. We will smash your skull, bitch.

Don't fuck with THE FUCKS. We will kill you then eat your carcass. Your remains will not be found. Nobody will miss you.

THE FUCKS WILL KILL YOU DEAD.

We will eat your tiny brain for a snack and then piss on your carcass.

You're going to eat my carcass AFTER you piss on it?

The Fucks sound like scary dudes. I for one live in fear that I might one day be forced to listen to them.

Yes, we like to eat pissed-on, dead flesh!!! We are THE FUCKS!!! We will remove your spleen and shove dirty underwear into your ears. Do not FUCK with THE FUCKS!!!

THE FUCKS WILL EAT YOUR HEAD!

The picture of the Peavey is priceless. Please publish more pics promptly please. Perhaps a band photo for my masturbatory fantasies. Ideally, the photos would be of the guys in peach chiffon playing through Peavey(!) amplifiers and snarling as though they were real tough guys.

Listen, dipshit, I don't know why you're so fixated on the fact that the bass player played a peavey bass amp, whatever. What I do know is you're a dumbass, and a fucking PUSSY. THE FUCKS WILL DESTROY YOU.

So your bass player "played a Peavey bass amp." That's quite a feat. Be careful who you call a dumbass. Especially if you are demonstrably a dumbass yourself.

Hey coward - you're a dumbass, a pussy and a talentless piece of human garbage. Does that about sum it up for you, dipshit?

Ass, pussy, garbage, shit. This is a disturbing summary indeed. If you want to ride the long bus to school you're going to have to work on your tantrums.

This is amusing.

Has "the Fuck" given up? Have his peurile and profane rants been shot out of the sky once too often? Tune in next time when we hope to discover just how flustered one lame guitar player, impotent with subliterate rage, can become.

I don't play guitar, dickie.

Well, don't let that stop you. Neither does your guitar player.

Awwww, what's the matter, my friend? Didn't your mommy love you enough? Or...... could it be that she loved you TOO much? Maybe it started innocently enough with breast feeding, but then, as she got older and the tricks were fewer and farther between, she needed that special love that only YOU could provide? Do you miss the rotting smell of your whore-mommy's womb? Do you compensate for your insignificance, low I.Q. and feelings of insecurity by anonymously "japing" at others on the Internet? Or are you just killing time between shifts at the local 7-11? I know it can't be easy for you. There are probably some support groups out there for you. But really, why bother? You've wasted your life, just like you were genetically programmed to do. Maybe you should just do yourself and the rest of the world a favor and kill yourself now, you small-dicked, pseudo-intellectual lepton with delusions of importance and wittiness.

Happy New Year!

The Fucks rock!